Post #23 - National Geographic

I was initially going to post this a couple of days ago, but the server was down.

It seems like a weird subject to post about, but do you guys remember how much Mama loved watching National Geographic videos? I remember he had a bunch of VHS tapes at the old New Westminster house about nature and wildlife. I tried watching them a couple of times, but I found everything pretty graphic, so needless to say, I never stuck around long enough to see what happened while he watched them!

I remember just this past year, something came on TV while I was in the family room with one of the boys and Mama said something like, 'Hey, hey, put it back on that for a minute!' It was some kind of documentary on bees and I thought it was so funny how Mama was pointing out things to us, but at the same time, I absolutely loved how he was so fascinated by it all. It was really neat to see that side of him. I think that's because most of the time people just thought of him as a family-oriented man whose hobbies were limited to business, golf, and basketball. I guess I can't quite explain it, but this hobby of his just made him more unique in my eyes...

Love Karen

Post #22 - Spreading Mama's Ashes...

Today was a rough day because Mama's ashes were finally spread. Not everyone went, but we all met up at the Scott Road gurdwara afterwards. I asked Mami-Ji about everything when we came back to the house and she said that they had gotten a huge boat and went out to White Rock to spread Mama's ashes in the water. It's the water that you can see from the back of their property. I can't quite remember the name of it even though she mentioned it to me, but it might be Boundary Bay. I'll have to check...

Mami-Ji told me that they were all there on the boat for quite some time. The people who were steering it were really nice and they took pictures of the water. The picture that I have up isn't one of those pictures, but it gives a visual image of what the water might've looked like. Did anyone else also notice that the weather today was just so ideal to be on the water? That's what I thought. Sunny with a light breeze - something that's not typical in Vancouver considering all the rain we usually get around this time of the year...

Anyways, Roger, Bhabi, and I were taking care of Ameer for most of the morning. I absolutely love the fact that him and Jasmin have bonded so much. Mami-Ji was joking this afternoon how Jasmin loves having all the boys around now, but when she's older she's going to hate it because they'll be watching her every move! Anyways, for now she just loves chasing her Ameer Chacha around. She's always shouting his name and he's right there next to her giggling hysterically. It's so adorable.

Jasmin fell asleep, so Bhabi had to stay home when Roger and I took Ameer to the gurdwara. The moment at the gurdwara before ardaas with the whole "eyeglasses situation" kind of broke the seriousness of everything going on. Masi's words were sooo true when she said:
"If Dave were here today, he'd be on the floor laughing!"
That's exactly what I thought when Sukhi and I exchanged confused looks with each other. I remember thinking if Mama were here today, I could just imagine the look that would be on his face because I’ve seen it before. You would see the confusion in his eyes, but the laughter hidden behind his half smile! I guess you just had to be there to know what I'm talking about...

On the way home from the gurdwara, Harinder and Jason joined Roger, Ameer, and I in the Mazda. Because he's so young, I don't even think Ameer knows that what he said next was just so perfect given the circumstances of the day. He requested that Harinder play "Me & U"...Mama's song. And that's what we ended up listening to.

I remember when we were leaving Arjan guys' house to head back home a few hours ago, Dada-Ji was saying how the place they picked to spread Mama's ashes was perfect and much better than spreading them in India. People usually go to India to spread their family member's ashes, but that wasn't what Mami-Ji wanted and I agreed with her when she told me why a couple of months ago. It was also at that time that there was talk about spreading Mama's ashes somewhere in Vancouver, but today's place was so ideal and I'm glad they chose it. When Mami-Ji told me about it today, the exact words I uttered were: "Wow, that's perfect." It's so close to home because every time you look out their window and into the backyard, you can see the water...

xoxo Karen

Post #21 - Happy Diwali

I tried posting this earlier, but it didn't work. I realize it's Sunday now and that Diwali was yesterday, but nevertheless, Happy Diwali.

I fell in love with this picture that I found of Diwali being celebrated at Amritsar, also known as the Golden Temple. At the bottom, someone is lighting a candle/diva. Mama went to India last year...what a beautiful site to see, huh?

Love Karen

Post #20 - Be Optimistic...

Today Ma was released from the hospital. FINALLY some great news! Let's continue to hope that she has a quick and smooth recovery. Also, I hope my dad and New Westminster Dada-Ji (who had a heartattack a week or so ago) feel better. They say you're nowhere without your health (actually, Masi said that to me like 2 weeks ago!), so I can't wait to see everyone healthy again.

I also came across a great line from a song that I wanted to share. Basically through all these bad times just remember that "the sun is somewhere shining even when it rains..."

Gotta go cram for my midterm exams.
xoxo Karen

Post #19 - Today...and Golf

Tonight I went with Mami-Ji to Safeway for just a bit to grab a few items. Ma was rushed to the hospital this morning, but I think Mama's looking down on all of us right now and giving her strength to be healthy...regardless, I could see it on Mami-Ji's face how rough this is on everyone, especially since it's only been a few months since everything happened with Mama. And the thing is, I knew something was wrong when Masi called me this morning asking for Harinder's cell number. I knew it was in her phonebook, so something had to be up if she didn't look there or ask Mami-Ji for it...

Anyways, on a much lighter note, during the drive back to our house, Mami-Ji told me how they found around 40-50 golf balls in the backyard of the new house. Mama use to love just shooting them around in the backyard. He had his own shooting range in that backyard of his - 2.5 acres! Mami-Ji said sometimes he'd shoot from the front of the property, over the house, and all the way to the back, which surprised me! I told her about the day we were on the lot a few months ago after Aneil's soccer game and how Harinder kept a golf ball that he found as a souvenir. I also mentioned how I remembered going to the golf course with her, Mama, and Ameer a few years ago.

I can't really remember sleeping over too often at the old Surrey house since we lived so closeby anyways, but one time I slept over when Ameer was just a baby and the next morning the four of us went to the golf course. I even remember how we stopped at the local Chevron (or some other gas station) for breakfast...rice-krispie squares and muffins! I thought it was the worst breakfast ever because they were rock hard to eat, haha. And then at the golf course, I sat back and just chilled while Mama played golf and Mami-Ji took pictures of Ameer. It's ironic because Harinder and I saw those pictures in July right after everything happened with Mama. We were going through pictures for the slideshow when we came across those ones. There's this one super cute picture I like in specific where Mama is shooting a golf ball off into the distance and in the background Ameer is sitting next to his golf bag watching attentively. I'm not sure how Mami-Ji captured it so well, but the picture is just priceless...like something you'd see on a poster or something.

Anyways, let's all keep Ma in our thoughts and pray that she has a quick and smooth recovery. Isn't there something about how you should say "Waheguru" 13 times? That's the lucky number in the Sikh religion, so try doing that tonight if you can. Lucky for us, we know Mama's also watching out for her...

xoxo Karen

Post #18 - Candles

It's weird because I was going to put up a picture of a candle burning for the post I had just written...in remembrance of Mama I guess. And suddenly I had a memory from the funeral...

The whole day was a blur to be honest because there was just so much going on, but I remember when basically everyone had left the funeral hall, Monica, Masard-Ji and I think Kim, were signing the guestbooks. Sukhi was taking the last of the flower arrangements to the cars outside and she was mentioning something about how she or someone had the Scorpion statues. While she was talking, I noticed 4 tall white candles on the entrance tables where we were all gathered, and I slowly blew each of them out. An end to the whole funeral I guess before we left to the gurdwara.

Found it interesting I remembered that small detail...

xoxo Karen

Post #17 - The Irony Of It All...

So today I came across a document I had saved on my desktop months ago. What was it, you ask? My organ donation form.

A few months ago, I decided to become an organ donor. I wouldn't exactly label it as a decision I made hastily either. That's because organ donation is something I had thought about over the years, but it wasn't until that point in time that I finally decided to do something about it. I re-discovered the whole idea after I read a story about a family that was shattered by their family member's illness, but finally became 'whole' again after an organ transplant was received.

After reading that story, I decided to research the whole idea of becoming an organ donor. I read more stories written by people who had received organ transplants. They were touching stories, but they definitely didn’t have the same effect on me as the next set of stories did - stories written by family members who were grieving over the loss of their loved ones, but had consented to organ donation. I was just so deeply moved by the fact that amidst their suffering, they had decided to help someone in need. Their loved one was no longer around, but someone else was being given a second chance at life thanks to them. I realized then that if something were to happen to me, I too wanted my family to find solace in knowing that my heart was beating in another human being and helping them live.

The BC Transplant Society gives you a whole list of organs and tissues you can consent to donating, but I wanted to know the benefits of each. After looking into it all thoroughly, I felt that I would be most comfortable with donating just a few select organs – my lungs, kidneys, and heart. The idea of donating my cornea and bones wasn’t something I was personally okay with, but the organs I checked off were fine.

I consented to everything on the BC Transplant Society website. According to the way everything works now, even though I did all this online, I still have to mail in my organ donation form. Also, stating that you’re an organ donor on the back of your license is no longer valid. It’s weird though because the only other person I know who is okay with being an organ donor is Bhabi. It makes me wonder if people are informed enough about the whole thing. Do they know how many lives they could possibly save? It’s not just one. I mean you could give someone their vision back, you could help someone on dialysis, you could give someone a healthy heart, and so on. Also, people probably don’t know that if you’re an organ donor and change your mind about being one later on, you can be taken off the list. I didn’t even know that!

Anyways, the whole point of this post was that I wanted to mention the irony of my becoming an organ donor and I just realized it today. Basically when I filled out that organ donation form, I was thinking about my impending death somewhere in the long future ahead. However, while I had realized that I wanted to help people even after I passed on, I never once thought death would strike so close to home.

The date I decided to become an organ donor: July 2, 2006.
The date everything happened with Mama: July 4, 2006.

Weird much? Death was on the mind July 2...but never Mama's...

xoxo Karen

Post #16 - Motivation

It seems like forever since I last posted, doesn't it? Well I think I've determined that my favourite day of the week is Friday. I go to SFU in the morning and yeah, I may have a lousy quiz or whatever, but when I'm done, I head over to Mami-Ji's. I tutor Ameer, chill with the boys, and have dinner there. It's such a nice overall feeling just hanging out with everyone and I guess it also helps that Mami-Ji is such a good cook! I think I especially like having a day of the week where I go over because I didn't do any of this before. I wish I had, but I didn't...

Anyways, this past Friday was especially fun because Sukhi was over w/ Niko - her new, adorable dog! My best friends were out that night, but I declined the invite because I knew there was no way I'd sacrifice my evening at Mami-Ji's to hang out with them. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love hanging out with my friends and sharing a few good laughs, but lately it's almost as if I don't want to do anything fun anymore. I want to stick close to home, close to the boys...it's hard to explain.

It's weird because over the past two weeks or so, I've had somewhat of a difficult time trying to stay focused on my studies, even though I know this is my toughest semester yet with five classes. Last Friday when the lady at the register's desk told me she was so surprised I was completing 17 credits at once, I didn't think too much of it. That's because I knew that I could definately get them done and do well. What I didn't know, however, was where my concentration had drifted off to. Well I think I got it back today and I guess I have Monty to thank for that.

Over a month ago, he mentioned to me that he ran into Mama at Canada Games Pool in New Westminster sometime this past year. I asked him again today what exactly was said during their conversation. I guess I just needed some sort of motivation to get my head back in the game. Monty's e-mail about what Mama said about me definately helped. Here's part of it:

Hey Karen, he told me what I told you earlier. We talked about Roger and what he was up to and then I mentioned you and he said "you were working hard, studying a lot and that he was proud of you."
He knew you were working hard, that's all he cared about.

...Enough said. If that's not enough motivation for me to keep on going and make it to convocation, I don't know what is...

xoxo Karen