Post #4 - Just Some Thoughts...

It's so early in the morning right now and I can't seem to focus on my paper. Go figures! Anyways, I thought I would write a short entry. I was talking to Jason a few days ago and we both discussed something that bothered us. You know what's really hard to hear from people even though we know they're just trying to be supportive? When they say, "It'll get easier" or "Don't worry, it'll get better with time." We both agreed that we hate hearing that. In fact, the next time I hear someone say that, I'm going to have to restrain myself from reaming them out. We lost our Mama, so you tell me how it will ever get easier for the family? Will Christmases get easier? For as long as I can remember, we've never celebrated a Christmas without Ma-Ji guys. No matter where we lived - New Westminster, Vanderhoof, Prince George, or Surrey - everyone always came together for Christmas. It's always been the Sidhus, Kailas, Jouhals, and Hairans. We've had so many additions to the family over the years with the births of the boys and Jasmin, but now we're short one person...Mama.

And what about the boys' birthdays? Will they get easier? Or going to the lot to see the new house? Even Harinder said he was at work one day and walking back from lunch at Surrey Place Mall when someone stopped him and asked him if he was Dave's nephew. They commented how much they looked alike. There's always going to be tough days ahead from now on...

They say time heals all wounds, but that's really difficult for me to fathom at this point in time. And what's worse is that I've overheard a few people who have come to the house and said how sad it is that Ameer (being the youngest of the boys) won't remember his dad. Well you know what - they don't know that. It made me mad hearing that. Yes, he may only be 5-years-old, but he still has some special memories of his dad that he'll never forget. And while I don't doubt it'll get difficult with each passing year to remember every detail, that's why we're all here. That's why we're all a family. We'll share memories and we'll tell stories. We'll look at pictures and we'll watch family videos. Basically we'll go on, but there's no way we'll ever forget.

xoxo Karen