Post #52 - Short & Sweet...gets right to the point!

Happy moments, praise God
Difficult moments, seek God
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God
Every moment, thank God

Post #51 - October

Well it was my goal to post more regularly, but unfortunately "life" often interferes. My goal now is just to post at least every couple of weeks or once a month. I can't believe I missed the entire month of September though! Anyways, I came across a quote I really liked and I wanted to share it. I think during our grief over the past year and a half now, we've learned who we can rely on and who we can't, especially in terms of friends. This quote just says a lot. It's called People Come Into Your Life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime


People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsent, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you set up has been answered and it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life....

Post #50 - I Believe This is True...

"To whom much is given, much is tested."

Post #49 - I've Learned...

"I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you far too soon, and yet some of the less important ones just never seem to go away." - Anonymous

Post #48 - June

I just wanted to apologize because I didn't get a chance to post on the blog this month (especially after I stated that I would make time to post more often). Harinder mentioned to me that it had been quite some time since I last updated the blog, but June has just been really hectic. Then today I realized that tomorrow is July 1st. Wow. Where do the days go? Anyways I will post as often as I can from now on...

xoxo Karen

Post #47 - God

I think during difficult and trying times in our life, we can go two ways - either we learn to believe in God more or we question why He causes us so much pain and anguish. Personally I don't like religion being thrust at me. I've learned to believe in God again (after losing faith in Him a few years ago), but I have to take small steps to restore my faith. If anything, I turned to our religion more upon losing Mama. I've realized that God does hear our prayers...but sometimes the answer is just no.

God didn't promise days without pain,
Laughter without sorrow,
Sun without rain,

But He did promise strength for the day,
Comfort for the tears,
And light for the way.

-Unknown

xoxo Karen

PS: I received the above picture in an e-mail back in 2003. The subject was "The Beauty of Sikhi" and it came with a poem. I kept it all these years because I thought it was so beautiful.

Post #46 - Just remember...

If you ever feel angry at the world,
If you ever feel like giving up,
If you ever feel like crying your eyes out,
If you ever feel that life isn't fair,
Just remember that pain is inevitable...but suffering is optional. That's what I've been telling myself for the longest time now. I read that quote somewhere and I think it's so true.

xoxo Karen

Post #45 - Eye of the Beholder?

I loved this e-mail from Mami-Ji. Here it is:

Eye of the Beholder?

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model
boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body
away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift - that is why it is called the present."

Post #44 - Mama's Foundation Website

So about the foundation website we're hoping to set up soon - it's all about remembering Mama by giving to those in need, right? Like what we did this past Christmas? Well I was thinking about a slogan or quote we could use and I came across something I liked. The words are so powerful. Not sure if it's right for the foundation, but here it is anyways:

"The service we render others is the rent we pay for our room on earth." (Wilfred Grenfell)

I think we need to get a move on with the website. Don't mean for that to sound harsh, but how about we look into people who can help us create it? My friend's family already has a website up and I like how they put a nice picture up as the main focus. Actually their site is under construction, but here's the link: http://malony.org/

Love Karen

*render = give back [to]

Post #43 - Have you ever noticed...

Have you ever noticed that everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things.......?

xoxo Karen

My idea of peaceful:

Post #42 - Deja Vu

So yesterday before the Akand Path at our house, I decided to quickly check my e-mail and I saw one from a friend of mine who goes to SFU with me. It said it was sent around 2am, so I read it right away wondering why she had e-mailed so late. Upon reading it, I discovered that her mom passed away on Friday from cancer. It came as a shock to me because just this past summer she had said her mom had been in remission for quite some time and was doing really well. In fact, my friend's whole family was busy planning her older brother's wedding in India, which was to happen in the Fall.

I guess I was also a bit surprised that my friend e-mailed me because I hadn't talked to her in months...not even after she had come back from India. We're good friends because we've had a few classes together, but we're not very close simply because we haven't gotten the opportunity to hang out together outside of school. I remember we had a class together this past summer at the SFU Surrey campus. Just a week or so after I had gone back to school in July after everything happened with Mama, I was visibly upset (that was the same day I called Mami-Ji) and my friend was very comforting...she's a sweetheart like that. After thinking back to that, I realized that now my friend was seeking the same sort of comfort for her own grief. Even though I wasn't sure about attending the funeral, I thought that perhaps I should go because she had only asked a handful of her friends to come. I mean how could I not go and offer my support? If she needed me there then she needed me there.

Another reason I decided to attend her mom's funeral was because one of my own close friends didn't attend Mama's funeral and I remember that it upset me somewhat. She had simply stated that she couldn't come because she didn't feel "comfortable," but the way I looked at it was that she was being slightly selfish. After all, it wasn't about her - it was about her being there for me. It's one thing to feel uncomfortable, but it's another thing to put all that aside and be supportive. You might think I'm being a bit harsh, but I think during times like that you realize who your true friends really are.

Anyways, so today I got ready to go. Another friend and I decided to go together - she would drive because I was on the way. She asked me to print out directions off MapQuest. I asked Bhabi where we would be heading and I showed her the map. That's when she told me it was the same place we had gone in July for Mama. Honestly, that alone gave me a lot of second thoughts about whether I could handle being there again......but in the end I went.

Pulling up to the parking lot was hard enough as is. Deja vu. Everything came back to me. When we walked into the funeral hall, I went through the exact same doors. The tables were set up in the exact same way. The only difference now was that both funeral halls weren't booked - just one. As soon as we sat down and I saw my friend in the very front, the tears came. They were a mix of my own grief over losing Mama and for her. I mean it was her mom - how could anyone ever take that place in her life? I remember telling her to call me if she needed anything...and to hold her memories of her mom close to her heart. That on every big day of her life, her mom would be looking down on her - beaming with pride......that's what I envision Mama doing with all of us.

As the funeral began, so many things from July came back to me. I remembered sitting with Aneil...then moving and sitting with Ajay on my lap...the roses we brought, one of which was for my mom to give to Mama...the speeches....Arjan's voice breaking off at the end of his speech...Harinder's incredible stength and composure...Roger standing in front of me when we walked in and kissing Mama's forehead, which caused Mami-Ji to break down completely...the Ardaas...packing up the flowers to take to Kim's house............I usually try to block that day out, but today I couldn't.

All in all, today was definitely emotional. During this funeral, my friend's dad got up and made a speech. He mentioned that when he first met his wife, he told her about a Hindi song she reminded him of. During all the years they were married, he refused to sing that song until his wife's 50th birthday last year when his daughter (my friend) convinced him to do it. Today he sang it again...for the last time.

It really is true what they say...you don't know how something feels until you've experienced it firsthand. I think my friend sought comfort in me today because I've dealt with loss. I hope that she can find some way to deal with her own enormous loss and if she ever needs someone to lean on, I'm here for her. It's almost as if we're both in some sort of club together. A club informally called "we lost someone we loved dearly and now we miss them so much." It's a club that I wish I wasn't a member of...but unfortunately, I am. And so are you.

xoxo Karen

Post #41 - Just Last March...

My apologies...I said I would post more often, but sometimes it just seems difficult to post...and it doesn't get any easier. Then add all the endless amount of schoolwork on top of that.

I was just thinking that Jasmin turned 2 this past Saturday and it was just a year ago when we were all together with Mama at the hall celebrating her 1st birthday, which was by far one of my favourite parties ever. How time flies, huh?

That was the last time we were all together. That was the last time I hugged Mama. That was the last time I laughed with him. That was actually also the last time I talked to him properly...the sad part is he left us in July and yet I had let months go by without seeing him properly. Nothing can make up for that now. I'm trying to come to terms with that because for me that was one of the hardest things I had to deal with.

And now if I let a week go by without going over to Ma guys' house to see everyone and catch up with them, I feel a big void inside. If too much time passes since Masi and I have had a nice phone conversation, it feels weird. If I haven't seen Harinder at home because he's been working back to back with his jobs, I have to call him at work even if I have nothing to really talk about - but I usually do find something to whine about. If I haven't seen Roger because I'm too busy with school and our schedules at home conflict, I think about the next day I'll see him at home sipping his chai while sitting at the computer desk. If I haven't spoken to Jimmy in a few days on MSN, I wonder if he's even noticed that I haven't had a chance to come online even if we do just talk about random things anyways.

The point?...I hope we all learn to become closer and stay that way so that we don't miss each other the way I missed Mama in those months.

Love Karen

Post #40 - Another Poem

If roses grow in heaven,
God please pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my uncle's arms,
And tell him they're from me.

Tell him I love and miss him,
And when he turns to smile,
Place a kiss upon his cheek,
And hold him for awhile.

Because remembering him is easy,
I do it every day,
But there's an ache within my heart,
Because I am missing him today.

xoxo Karen

Post #39 - Song

Hey guys,

Jimmy told me about this song. It's sung by a local artist named E.V. who actually goes to SFU with Jimmy's friend, Birinder (Bear). Bear plays the dhol for E.V. - but not in this song.

Anyways, E.V. and his friend wrote this song for their moms. Their moms are both single mothers. They're hoping to get it played on the Beat 94.5 on Mother's Day. They made a video for the song as well by asking fans to send in pictures of themselves with the closest people in their lives. The first 100 or so pictures were selected and are in the video, which is a slideshow.

...Something about the CHORUS of this song really touched me and made me think about Mama...and you, Roger. Don't really know why. Here it is:

If I could stand tall for a moment,
Not fall for a moment,
I would make it to that moment for you.

If I could inhale for a second,
Exhale for a second,
I’d breathe that second for you...

Maybe I should face every moment,
And not chase every moment,
Embrace more moments with you.

But now I’m on the grind every second,
Instead of lying every second,
I'm gonna make it to the top for you...

Here's the link to hear & see the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlw5vrqicLs

...Thanks Jimmy! I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have great taste in music :)

xoxo Karen

Post #38 - Happy V-Day...plus Blog Update

Hey guys,

I'm sorry I haven't posted over the last few weeks. I'll try my best to make a new post soon...and of course you're all welcome to make one as well.

...Love Karen

PS: The new Blogger made me update the entire page, so I lost all the links! I was so choked when I realized what happened, but I tried to recover them. I think I have them all. Who knew making a website was so hard, huh?

PPS: Roger & Jason - you guys can still make posts, but from my understanding, you'll sign in as "guests" until you update your settings.

Post #37 - Memorial Website

Hey everyone,

I heard about this on the news. I thought it was a nice memorial website in memory of Manjit Panghali - especially the music, which sounds so beautiful and is from a hindi movie I've watched. According to the slideshow, her birthday was July 4.

Check it out: http://manjitpanghali.org/

I know Harinder is working on a website for Mama and that Jimmy is eager to help. I think the Dave Sidhu Foundation website will look great! I can't wait to post all the toy drive pictures, information about future events in memory of Mama, etc on it. If anyone has any suggestions about layouts or anything, make sure you e-mail Harinder. Even if you have another website you think he can refer to as a guide, it would be really helpful :)

Love Karen

Post #36 - Thanks Amrit

Hey everyone,

Well Amrit sent me the nicest e-mail about the blog, and even though I e-mailed him back, I also wanted to thank him on here for taking the time to do that :)

I hope he doesn't mind if I post what he sent me. I just thought his e-mail was so from the heart that it should be shared with everyone. It made my whole day. As Jasmin would say, "GOOD JOB!"

Hey Karen, I was just going through and taking a look at the blog on behalf of chacha's memory. It's nice to see how passionately you talk about him being a great guy, because he was a great guy, and your words justify that. Keep it up because i love reading them!! -Amrit

Amrit, I added you to the blog as a member. I know so far only Jason & I have written posts, but all of you are free to write whenever you want. Like I was telling Amrit, I began this blog because I needed an outlet of some sort for myself and at the same time, I knew you guys all kind of needed one too. If anything, I hope reading about Mama/Chacha has helped you in some way or another. My biggest goal was to bring us somewhat closer together by sharing our stories, thoughts, and feelings...and I suppose that down the road it'll also be a nice way for the boys to remember him by reading about all the little things they may not have known. For example, the National Geographic story comes to mind :)

Anyways, I know I haven't been posting reguarly, but I'll try my best - school has just been so insane lately!

Love Karen

Post #34 - 6 Months

January 4, 2007

I think Jason's MSN name says it best:
RIP Mama. Half a year has gone by...seems like it was just yesterday. Missing you.

My friend Kam sent me a nice e-mail last week to see how the family was doing. Sadly, she lost her mom a couple of years ago. I replied to her today and I just wanted to share a part of my e-mail to her:

"It was really nice going to the hospitals and meeting some of the kids. I just remember when my Mami-Ji gave a teddy bear to a newborn girl and I know that basically I make it through every day without my Mama by being there for her...by making HER happy.

xoxo Karen

Post #33 - Quote

"Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will..." - Unknown

Post #32 - Success!

Hey guys,

So today we sorted all the toys we received for the 1st Annual Dave Sidhu Memorial Christmas Drive. I just wanted to say we all did an EXCELLENT job! I'm still in awe that we've raised over $15,000 in toys and cash for the hospitals! Like Mami-Ji said, it's just so overwhelming to think about! And because we received so many toys, we're now also donating some to different women's shelters in the Lower Mainland, and to me that's just amazing! I never thought we'd receive so many toys. People really are wonderful. How can we ever tell them how much their generosity has touched our family? Words can't express how thankful we are.

And do you guys realize how proud Mama would be? Today he was looking down on all of us as we came together to help so many sick children. I can't begin to express how amazing it is that he's still helping people smile even though he's no longer with us...

A special thanks goes out to Harinder. You came up with the idea and even though we all pulled together to make the toy drive a success, we would've been nowhere without your leadership! I know none of us (me, Roger, Mission cousins) say it, but we really do look up to you. You helped bring the entire family together and if Mama was with us, I just know he would be telling you how proud of you he was. When I talked to Sim on the phone a couple of days ago, I told him the only other person I knew with a heart as big as my Mama's was you - I honestly believe that.

See you all on Tuesday when we go to Children's Hospital and Canuck Place! And Jason, try your hardest to come out!

Much love,
Karen